Where’d He Learn THAT?

OUTTA MY WAY JACKASS!!!   My youngest son was rocking forward and back in his car seat planted in the center of the back passenger area. He was not quite two years old and obviously had a lot to learn about handling driving stress. My mom was with us and she looked startled and said “I wonder where he learned THAT??!

Of course everyone looked at me. Well, yes he learned the phrase from me but he was using it wrong. The car in front of us was at a red light. The driver wasn’t being a jackass, my son didn’t realize that not EVERYONE stopped in front of us was in the way, just the stupid ones.

Most people just jump to conclude that every time a little one shows anti social behavior it must be a product of terrible parenting. I do see a connection but it startles me to see how well much of my terrible parenting brought about lots of excellent traits in my kids as well.

Just to show I cared I took the little one on lots of town and country rides and talked frankly about the other drivers so that next time he could identify the REAL jackasses.

It’s just as true that a few poorly informed people have expressed displeasure in my driving as well. I quickly assure them that MY driving is just fine. “I drive like an Asian” I tell them. “Damned right” is the usual reply but the forgiveness is already started. They have to forgive me, Manga is cool.

You see, I had the opportunity to learn about the fine quality of most Asian products, Toyota, Subaru, sexy Asian models, Honda, Jackie Chan, Yamaha, and so on. Everything Asians do seems to turn out great. I needed awesomeness in my life.

In an effort to align myself with some of that awesomeness I could get good at math or be a terrible driver. Driving terribly came natural to me so I went that route.

So yeah, if you really want to know, he learned it from me. He’s older now so he might be rocking back and forth in the driver’s seat and his vocabulary is a bit better developed. I taught him some other stuff too so you probably want to go when the light turns green.

Oh, hey, before you go, Thank you for reading my stories.


7 thoughts on “Where’d He Learn THAT?

  1. We are becoming a mutual admiration society; toiling alone, with nothing but the open door and the open window and the open mind to keep our writing company. Family, humor, kids, philosophy…what else is there? Duke

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Family, kids, humor, and philosophy seems to be all I know. I meant to be and know much more. I also meant to be taller, Italian maybe, and have a wonderful singing voice. But this is what I got for now.
      I’m half-way through your ‘What is Joy’ story. It’s good.
      Mutual admiration. That works for me. Thanks Duke


      1. Hey Duke, I went and checked him out. Interesting.
        Ran into some story teller on the sidebar name of Harry Crews. You might enjoy this fellow as well.
        How’d you find Johnny Dowd? Is he from your parts?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Cussing at the road and at other drivers just means your paying attention or, at least thats what I tell my kids after I remind them not to use my vibrant vocabulary

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi TCB,

    For me the only interesting thing about sites like WordPress is running into people, like you, who can write. Please fucking Christ save me from travel, cat, food, and door blogs. In my opinion you are coming from an authentic place that pushes you to something, gets you a little bit higher. Most people don’t know how to claw around in their writing, in those secret feelings. They stay away from things too difficult: American Dream as a burning hell, all those false opportunities, etc.

    Now about Harry Crews, I had put him way in the back of my mind, but now you have pushed him forward. Great writer who I have overlooked all these years. Here is a free read:


    So thanks for that! I’m ordering a few of his books now. He’s in that same breath that Bukowski, Burroughs, and Thompson draw. FYI, Dowd used to play with Jim White. That’s how I got on to him. Now Jim White is a much more accessible song writer than Dowd, but I like them equally, maybe Dowd a bit more. Here is White’s “A Perfect Day to Chase Tornados”. “Wrong-Eyed Jesus” is his big album and I think Dowd played and wrote on that one.

    Good luck with your writing. Thanks. Duke

    Liked by 1 person

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