A Legend Meets a Giant

El Chapo is clearly the Greatest Legend that Mexico has ever known. (Well… I’ve ever known about Mexico anyway).

If you haven’t heard of El Chapo it’s probably because you are too young. Anyone who is at all conscious around the globe will say “The name does sound familiar.” even if they aren’t sure why.

Just for a quick recap: El Chapo was a run of the mill Mexican kid who built what some declare to be the most organized, feared, and respected global drug trafficking empire…EVER.

El Chapo was untouchable, able to employ any government (and any government officials) at will including their undying loyalty. No one could catch him and even twice when he let the Girly Men capture him for news coverage, (or what ever his truly genius reasons were) he immediately escaped in the most ridiculously cartoony manner making Mexican Police look like keystone cop impersonators with balloon batons.

Both times that he was captured the U.S. offered to take care of the manly business of caring for El Chapo but Mexico insisted that they could handle their charge. They obviously had NO IDEA of the Legend of El Chapo as well as I do and the rest of the literate world does.

To save the effort involved in factual writing please let me indulge in fantasy.

Batman villians are little girls watching My Little Pony compared to El Chapo

El Chapo is like a Mexican version of CHUCK NORRIS, all caps to show worshipful respect.

He is bigger than Pancho Villa, The Alamo, even the Mexican Cowboy heros sang about in Marty Robbins songs. If El Chapo had been around earlier ALL of Marty Robbins’ songs would have been about him.

I know this is a bit ranty so I’ll hurry to my point.

I personally have the deepest respect for ANY true badass and hopefully El Chapo will be inducted into the TRUE BADASS Hall of Fame. If there isn’t one he could hold his own as it’s only member.

Sadly, as all romantic stories must, this story hit a plot point. El Chapo had an interview with Sean Penn, or was it Milo Yiannopoulos The Most Dangerous Faggot in the World, as he calls himself. I regret not knowing the difference other than the interview was with the non-dangerous one. During the interview El Chapo talked smack about the Presidential Hopeful DONALD J. TRUMP and bragged that he could kick TRUMP’S ass.

5 days into the DONALD J. TRUMP Presidency El Chapo was in Federal Prison in New York City where no tunnel in the universe is gonna get him out.

The Legend met a Giant. (Mariachi Band plays dramatically)

And CHUCK NORRIS, if you read this please forgive that I didn’t ask permission to use your name. And also, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t talk smack about DONALD J. TRUMP.

Although I’m sure you would be awesome! Really! Don’t be mad at me. Just sayin’

My best to all of Mexico and I’m sorry for your loss.


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